Surviving in a Male Dominated Household

Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

It has come to my attention...

that there are a few of my blog readers who are not pleased with my current living situation. While I do not need to justify myself to ANYONE I feel I need to stand up for myself.

I'm 26 years old. I'm married and we have one 17 month old son. Do you recall how hectic life was when your children were this age? Can you imagine working full time while taking care of your child and your home...and yourself? Can you imagine doing it all alone--KNOWING that your husband is in a region where people are set out to kill him?!?!

I moved in with my sister in law for many reasons.

For financial help. I plan on putting money aside so when David returns, most of our debt will be paid off and we will have a nice downpayment for a home.

I did it for emotional help. Surviving a deployment isn't easy. Knowing your husband is in harms way, knowing that he is seeing things that NO ONE should see isn't going to be easy on him. Having him in such a dangerous place isn't going to be easy on me. I cannot call him if I want. I cannot hear his voice or see his face every day. I just wait and pray that no officer comes to our door in the middle of the night to deliver horrible news...and I wait. I wait for the day he calls to tell me, "Honey, I'm coming home."

I have accomplished quite a bit in my 26 years on this planet. I have TWO college degrees. I graduated with honors. I have worked on a Senatorial campaign. I have had my poetry published. I have been a published opinion columnist.

I have a wonderful selfless husband and we have a bright, friendly, loving little boy. I have made a great name for myself, not only in the political realm but in Des Moines. I have risen the ranks from member of the Polk County Republican Central Committee to Secretary to Co-Chair. I am a breastfeeding mentor to three young mothers, and they are all succeeding. I have many great friends and collegues. And I'm planning for my future.

So we don't own a home. How many 26 year olds really do? We have a plan. And we're working our plan. Some may say that, at the age of 26, I should have more. I think I have plenty for where I am at right now. I've experienced a lot. A lot more than most 50 year olds. Homes, cars, expensive purses and shoes are just things. You can't take them with you when you go...but as long as people remember you, you live on. I've touched many lives so far with my mentoring, my writing, my political work...and I do not plan to stop.

So yes, for now I am living in the lower level of my sister in law's home.

But keep in mind that I am living there because my husband is over fighting a war so that your husband/brother/son doesn't have to.

The last thing I need right now is people judging me and my decisions at this point in my life, when I need support the most. I appreciate all of the support I've had so far...from my parents, my in-laws, our friends...and all of the support will be remembered.

I leave you with this:

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Matthew 7. 1-5

2 comments:

Minnesota Bowman's said...

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!

We just wanted to tell you how proud that you are a part of our family. You have brought much joy to our nephew. You all are in our thoughts and prayers each and every day. You should not have to defend yourself to anyone. God will provide for you and Liam while David is gone. What a wonderful opportunity for you to get to know Angie and Sandy. Especially Liam getting to know his Aunt's. We know for a fact that they are very, very special people. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Thank you for reminding us all about being judged. We all need to be reminded of this.

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Matthew 7. 1-5

To many individuals get hurt by judging others. Unless you walk in another man's shoes you have no idea what it is like. We can only imagine what it is like with out David. Remember you have family and friends who love you all very much. If we can ever do anything we will be there for you.

We love you. XOXOXO

GrannyJoJo said...

Well said my dear!! No one should judge you or the decisions you make for you and Liam while Dave is gone. What is most important is that you have a solid support system for the two of you. God Bless!