Surviving in a Male Dominated Household

Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Brendan's First Visit from His Brothers

By our third child I have learned a few things. For example, I know every one means well when they want to see a new baby, but there's a reason that tickets to labor and delivery are not sold on ticketmaster. It's a private event. Some people may be into the "takes a village to birth a child" thing. But I'm not. And that's just me.

Our first child, Liam, was the first grandchild on my husband's side. So I understand the excitement. I also wanted my mother in the labor room as she's a nurse, she's been through this before and, well, she's my mommy. Anyone in pain always wants their mom. However, the birth didn't go as planned and after 18 hours of labor and an hour of pushing a c-section was required as he was not tolerating the contractions. When he was born, everyone, except my future father in law, followed the baby down to the nursery. When I woke up in recovery, I was surprised to see my future father in law there. I will always be thankful that he stayed there with me. However, the first time I held my child, there were 5 people (other than me and the baby) in the room. It was a little overwhelming.

Our second child, Sean, came before his scheduled c-section date. I labored for 12 hours (6 at the hospital) while waiting for a c-section. After they wheeled me into recovery, we had called my mom and told her to pick our oldest up at daycare and bring him to the hospital, as we wanted him to be the first family member to see the new baby (his new brother). She brought him in and he did get to hold him, then my mom saw him and left. I didn't get a chance to nurse him before they wheeled me into my "permanent" room where I would spend the next few days healing. My husband had called his family to tell them they could come and they said they were already in the parking lot. So I wasn't able to nurse/bond with him as I would have liked.

We informed our family that with this child we wouldn't be accepting visitors the same day as the birth, however, we still wanted the older brothers to be the first to meet the new baby. As you know from my previous post he too came before his scheduled date and my parents had come down to watch the boys. We went through the surgery but due to fluid being in his lungs, they were unable to bring him to me while I was in recovery. My husband was running between the nursery, taking pictures and video of him, and back to my recovery room to show me our new little boy. A long three hours later they wheeled me into the nursery so I could see him and then into my room. Finally they brought him in so I could hold him. 
  My emotions got the best of me. I told my husband to take a picture and he did. I'm so glad he did.

After I had a chance to bond with and nurse my new little boy, we called my parents to let them know it would be okay to bring our older two to the hospital to meet their new brother. We also called his parents to let them know that visitors would be okay (after 4...this way we wouldn't be overlapping visitors, everyone would get to see him on his birthday and we wouldn't feel so overwhelmed) the same day.

My parents came to the hospital, ushered the older two into the room (as was our wishes) and waited patiently outside my room while the brothers met.

And boy, did they love him. Liam thought his new brother was the greatest thing. After Daddy sanitized the big brother's hands he took baby out of the "drawer bed" (the moving "dresser" unit with the plastic crib on top) as Liam called it and showed him his brother. We hadn't quite settled on a name yet for him, so we asked Liam what he liked best, Gabriel, Brendan or Declan. Liam responded, "I like Brendan." And so he was named.

After Liam and Sean had a few minutes with him, my husband called my parents in to see him and start taking pictures. Sean couldn't get enough of the new baby but was having a hard time understanding "gentle" and "be nice". But Sean is a brute. It took one adult to handle him and one to handle Brendan. Sean kept touching him and playing with his little hospital ankle bracelet. He'd also grab at his little legs and touch his head.

But that's okay. That's what brothers do. And they all love each other. So much.

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