A Mom's Version of "Royals"

You can view the original song  here

Apologies to Lorde, a parody of "Royals",  by a suburban mom.

I have a diamond on my flesh
I cut my teeth on a wedding ring in 2006.
And I'm proud of my address,
In a suburb town, no local envy.

But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're drivin minivans in our dreams.
But everybody's like Crystal sleeping with who now and who's the sitter
Airplanes, meetings, Tigers in the Boy Scouts.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair.

And we name our kids after royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
That baby I'll rule, and nurse, and rule, and nurse.
Let me live that fantasy.

[Verse 2]
Mom friends and I—we've cracked the code.
We count our dollars on the carpool to the party.
And everyone who knows us knows, that we're fine with this,
We didn't come for Barney.

But every song's like gold teeth, grey goose, trippin' in the bathroom
Blood stains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room,
We don't care, we're drivin minivans in our dreams.
But everybody's like Crystal sleeping with who now and who's the sitter
Airplanes, meetings, Tigers in the Boy Scouts.
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair.

And we name our kids after royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
That baby I'll rule, and nurse, and rule, and nurse.
Let me live that fantasy.

Ooh ooh oh
Our van's bigger than we ever dreamed,
And I'm in love with being queen.
Ooh ooh oh
Life is great with every care
We aren't caught up in your love affair.

And we name our kids after royals (royals).
It don't run in our blood
That kind of luxe just ain't for us.
We crave a different kind of buzz
Let me be your ruler (ruler),
You can call me queen Bee
That baby I'll rule, and nurse, and rule, and nurse.
Let me live that fantasy.

You can view the original song here. 

Again, my apologies to Lorde.